It’s great!
Haikus are so difficult. It’s strange because people tend to write them off as like easy poetry but they’re not. You’ve got an amazing essence to what a Haiku is. You’re capturing a lot of the character of nature and it’s so simple and yet layered and wonderful at the same time. For a second try I would say that’s way more than a success.
Wow thanks a lot, lol I’m glad because it took a while of concentration & playing with some words to get it right, next time I hope to get the syllables right. I know it isn’t easy because the first time I wrote one it took so long to get the vision I was trying to portrait
I like the opening line as well but also enjoy the way the last line caught me off guard. It was so calming and warm and soothing, then so suddenly stormy, great impact. And I also agree this could be the beginning of a story for you 🙂
8 responses to “Writing 201: Water”
I especially like “The sun shone as bright as it felt…”
Looks like you got yourself a first line for a short story.
Thank you 🙂 You know that’s a good idea.
I really love the image that it sets forth, the syllables are off if we’re being strict but it’s still a beautiful piece.
Thank you, it’s my second time attempting a haiku
It’s great!
Haikus are so difficult. It’s strange because people tend to write them off as like easy poetry but they’re not. You’ve got an amazing essence to what a Haiku is. You’re capturing a lot of the character of nature and it’s so simple and yet layered and wonderful at the same time. For a second try I would say that’s way more than a success.
Wow thanks a lot, lol I’m glad because it took a while of concentration & playing with some words to get it right, next time I hope to get the syllables right. I know it isn’t easy because the first time I wrote one it took so long to get the vision I was trying to portrait
I like the opening line as well but also enjoy the way the last line caught me off guard. It was so calming and warm and soothing, then so suddenly stormy, great impact. And I also agree this could be the beginning of a story for you 🙂
Thank you 🙂 I really am gonna take that into consideration (making a story that is)